as the days drag on.. i just feel more and more used up.
- i can’t help to think about how things would be if you lived to see me grow up. i wonder if i have ever made you proud, or if you wish you were here to point me in the right direction. you changed everything then and you could have changed everything now. may God forever bless your bulgarian nurse.
- the thought of wanting to be nowhere is taking over me. i want to be alone and i want to be with everyone at the same time. i can’t help but to blame myself.
- hearing your voice gives me hope. it doesn’t matter if your having a bad day or if you’re living out the best day of your life. you give me so much hope. i wish i could tell you.
- this school is like a long-time boyfriend. do i settle down and realize that this will be my life, or do we break up because i crave something more? can i even afford to start over? can i afford the risk of missing you and wanting to come back. i don’t hate you, but i know there are other things out there. i know i can survive if i stay, but maybe it’s time for me to do more than just survive. maybe i need to start living, especially for myself.
i don’t know if i’ll stay here another year, but i know that this has seemed to have run its course. some things were worth my while, but this depression feels like it’s killing me.
- i never wanted either of you to worry about me. i wanted to make you proud. if a fake smile is what it takes for now, i’ll smile until the corners of my mouth begin to bleed.
- i have not missed a single class this semester.
-the book misses your penmanship.
- please always remember me.
- he took it too far. tires burn out and chickens lose their skin.
what a fucked up dream.
- i hope you realize that your attitude on life has brought me down even further than i thought possible.
- for the sake of the Lord, please keep it in your pants for once.
- i cannot believe you would let someone like that stick around. i cannot believe you are sticking up for someone who kicked me so hard when i was already down.
- everyone would be devastated if they ever found out.
- i have been averaging three anxiety attacks a day.
-i wish i could sleep like a normal person again.
-track and field injuries are my specialty..
- i am so proud of you for going after what you know you deserve and accomplishing it all.
-what have you become?
- keep up the good work.
-coffee and its best friend.
i know you check my tumblr.
my activity feed tells me that you check my page more than anyone else.. even those who check my tumblr without following me because i have a few people who check my tumblr on the daily.. yet, they find it too
awkward to follow me. i know who sees my tumblr every single day.
the real question is why you type in my url when you already follow me.. why you are so afraid of missing something, why you want to see my writing, or why you haven’t talked to me about it.
i know you’ll see this.
please talk to me.
even though i should never feel this way about my own personal writing,
i feel like i need to explain.
i just want to catch you up.
i keep having these anxiety attacks,
i continue arguing with my own head.
i keep trying to fix myself.
nothing works like it once did.
and i know no one else can help me.
maybe i need an ambulance.
ncaa cross country championship in less than four hours.
i had my heart set on so many different things.
who knew this would ever happen?
the american spirit.
can you please remember me
i was only seventeen
i was full of everything
especially my dreams
i think i can be anything
they say they never
i watched them
i know that we all
have our days
with clouds above us
in a daze
i prayed for a better place
it never came
i am not who i was
we’re all ill with
a little rush
the heavier my pockets get,
the emptier my heart becomes.
i never needed love,
but i wanted it.
oh, how i wanted it.
now, i don’t want anything.
i want to survive the day.
i need to manage to sleep.
i need to forget everything.
i don’t want anyone else.
i don’t need anyone else.
i am fine alone.
life is too short,
and everyone leaves by themselves.
i don’t want you to hold my hand,
only to die by myself.
us humans, are funny beings.
to love and to lose.
cigarettes and booze.
i am alright alone.
life moves on,
with or without me.
i don’t love many things,
but the things i do love,
i’d live, not die for.
i had butterflies in my stomach once,
but i tried my best to suffocate them with smoke,
i guess my lungs were greedy,
and drowning them down never worked
the only things in my system are thirteen cups of coffee.
food has lost its taste altogether.
i don’t want to do this anymore.
where is my happiness?
maybe i deserve this.
it’s not that no one cares..
it’s not that no one says they care..
it’s that no one wants to show you that they care.